A New List for a New Year… or so you would think!

Tags

Behavior, GirlPower, NewYears, Resolutions, Thoughts

Going along with the new year atmosphere, instead of making a list of the things I’m supposed to be doing in order to find “happiness”, I decided to list the things that are important for me to go through this year. The things I will not do, not accept or give up on, no questions asked. This is MY kingdom, and at least in what relates to MY life, I run it!

So here we go:

1. Chivalry: NO, wanting a person from the opposite sex (in this case a man) to open doors for me does not go against my sense of feminism. As it is said before, it is MY sense of feminism. Nor will it defy my feminist ancestry into rolling in their graves. It doesn’t mean I’m less independent because of it. It just means I like to be treated well every once in a while, and a simple gesture such as opening a door will do. Just simple caring acts by a male counterpart. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. No, I will not work for a Bank or a Multinational company: people should just understand that people have different needs, and most definitely, different ideas of how to live their own lives. I know you think that making money is all there is to life, and that working for a bank is pretty much the only way to do it, but NO, that’s not for me. SO do me a favor, stop trying to shrink my (already diminute) resolve to go out there and try something not so overdone. If you don’t agree, keep it to yourself. If you think I’m making a mistake, let me!

3. Boyfriend stuff: NO, I don’t need a boyfriend to be complete. Nor am I in a foul mood because I don’t have a man. Maybe that is true for most of you, but I don’t need another person to be ok with myself. If I have problems, or need to change something in my life, that has nothing to do with being single or not. Some women are defined – read, ONLY defined – by the man they (think) they have. That’s not me! I’m more than enough alone, and IF I choose to be with someone, it is because I think he can add something to my life – read –> something EXTRA, definitely not something ESSENTIAL that without it I would die = that would be oxygen in any case.

4. Sleeping too much: NO, I’m not sleeping too much. Too much and too little are subjective measures that mean NOTHING to me. Especially when it comes to sleeping. I like to sleep. No, I LOVE sleeping… SO if you think perhaps I do it too much or for too long, sorry! I don’t tell you what I think of your borderline psycho sports habits or about you having 3 kids, do I? NO! And that is because I know how to mind my own business. Sleeping is one of the wonders of life, and I plan on keep using and using it until I finally sleep for eternity. So do yourself (and me) a favor and take a nap. zzzzzz

5. The things I won’t do this year, so stop bugging me: I won’t start exercising. No, I won’t start just “walking around the square.” I won’t stop wishing every second of every minute that I were living in a different country. I won’t stop complaining about all the fucked up things happening around me that everyone just thinks “it’s normal, it’s always been like that.” And I most definitely won’t stop being a dog lover – no matter if you think that loving dogs more than people is disgusting.

Wishing us all a new year with less hypocrisy and more sincere feelings…

A New Year Begins…

Tags

Advice, Quotes, Self-love, Thoughts

“The business of life is the acquisition of memories.” Downton Abbey, S4E4

In my opinion, this idea that a new year begins, and thus we have a chance to start over is bullshit…. If you screwed up up until Dec. 31, there’s nothing that will change it – or erase it – just because a new year begins.

With that said, what the new year CAN bring is the strength to breath in, breath out, and finally face up to our mistakes and challenges like real people.

Nothing will miraculously change because the calender did. However, YOU can change where your life is going. You can decide which and how you want to create the memories that you will look back at in the future.

It doesn’t have to be today, tomorrow or in January. Every day, of every year is a new opportunity to create memories, and to choose. So my hope and advice is…. choose wisely. Don’t choose for convenience or conformity. Choose for you, choose YOU. Don’t let anyone, or anything take away your freedom to choose and decide what you want. No matter the consequences, owning up to our decisions is the only way to be true to ourselves. And that is what will matter 30 years from now.

And with that thought, I would like to welcome you all to a new day! Enjoy it… live it!

Bad timing, wrong time…

Tags

Love, Poem, Relationships, Thoughts

I say I was born in the wrong century…

I dream of Darcy and romantic courting

I dream of faithful respect and less meaningless touching

When holding hands shared more feeling than empty words

Of caring acts that sustained longing and fed dreams

I want to be treasured, not measured

I want my clothes to reflect my taste and not market my assets

Seeing a relationship as a partnership of souls and not just a comfortable union of lovers

When the life we lived together was the life we built together

Of kept promises and shared values

When loyalty and sincerity still scored high

When trust was not easily given, and readily dismissed

I say I’m living in the wrong century.

Just a little “poem” from my heart!

Love, Brunenji

PS.: Pic from http://www.farncombecourses.co.uk

Being Single and being single… the difference

Tags

Advice, girl power, Love, Relationships, Self-love, smart women, Strong Women, Thoughts, Women

Perhaps you have read the title and thought “I don’t really see the difference…” Well, my friend, look again… and now let’s talk!

Being single, and having many friends who are also single, I started to realize there are two basic categories within “singleness”: that of girls who treat it as any other passing phase in life, aka, the single girls. And then there are those who treat the situation as such a problem, such an abhorrent state, that it becomes an actual monster, aka, the Single state.

I’ve noticed that girls in the Single category not only tend to define their lives based on who they are with – and their “failure” on the fact that they have no one at the moment – but they also seem to lose their identity and judgment when alone. They seem so blinded by the fact that they are alone, that they automatically start losing confidence, self-love, self-respect… The Single girls tend to put so much weight on “having someone” that they lose sight of who they actually are – man or no man. Girls in this category usually end up with complete wrong guys, because anything, or anyone, is better than being alone, right? WRONG!! Stop selling yourself short because of misguided desperation.

The single girls, on the other hand, realize that being single means nothing else than the fact that AT THAT MOMENT in life they have no official partner. They do not start degrading themselves or thinking their lives are pointless because of it. Instead, they use the single phase as a learning opportunity. To learn who they really are, the things they like, the ones they love, and more importantly, the things they do not like. They use the single phase to rethink themselves as partners when in a relationship, and to be better prepared for the future ones.

I’m not here to preach that doing this or that is the way to go. What I offer is a window through which you, my single friend, can look into your situation and see a different color in the sky. Stop obsessing over your relationship status and start focusing on knowing yourself better. When you discover who you truly are when you are single, you will realize that you can choose better partners, and build stronger relationships.

Brunenji is back with a vengeance…

Tags

Jane Austen, Love, Thoughts, Valentine's Day

And it won’t be all cute and nice!! I’m MAD!! Like the poor cows suffering from Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, MAD!!!!! The Brazilian version of valentine’s day is coming up (dia os namorados), and I don’t merely want to write something sweet for those in love and something encouraging to those who happen to be single. I want to completely annihilate, exterminate, and ban this date for all eternity!
This is not a matter of being single and feeling lonely and sad for the date. NO!!!! It is about my revolt with something so completely shallow of true emotions, based on consumerism and bad taste!! Perhaps when the date started, baaaaack then when there was still such a thing called romance, such a celebration had a purpose… A celebration of two souls meeting each other, recognizing they were good, even better, together, and deciding to spend life as two, instead of one / one.
Well, the way I see it today, valentine’s day serves other, may I say, EVIL purposes. June barely started and we are already being bombarded with images of hot, sensual and sweaty couples all over each other wearing that “special” lingerie, and with that (disgusting) brand of perfume. They seem to have translated female independence and beauty in accordance with the length of the (barely-there-super-mini) skirts, and who DARES disagree?! “I can’t see your legs? You must be a prude and should be single alright.”
What about all the melodramatic commercials with well-worn poems and songs that translate to the public the same subliminal message, every year: you are worthless, but if you manage to get yourself a “special someone” he/she will only be “THE ONE” if he/she buys you insert product here

This year I will do it differently! I’m not going to encourage my single friends to go out there and have fun, as if we have to prove something to somebody! Nor will I waste my time feeling like I should be considering if anything should be done. I will treat this “special date” much the same as I treat other “special dates” I believe to be bullshit: IGNORE it!!!!!! Go on with my life, do my thing, not freak out or care about a date that, I believe, means nothing in the society I happen to be a part of. Better yet, I will make a celebratory party to my Jane Austen Collections, which hold some of the love I trust, believe and would fight for.. Anything else, I’m not interested!
Viva Jane Austen and true love!

P.s. Brunenji has been a bit out lately, BUT I promise I’ll be back soon and not this angry! Hahahaha Love you all, and thank you so much for reading!

The world of pseudo-bullshit philosophies

Tags

Thoughts

I’m soooo tired of these pseudo-bullshit philosophies I have to swallow everyday… conspiracy theories, failed ideologies, empty words, irrational actions…

So tired of these pseudo-communists who like to defend regimes such as the Cuban or the “democracy” in Venezuela, because “everything is acceptable against the evil American imperialists”!! Do you really think Cuba is the example? Do you think Venezuela is a model to be emulated? Why don’t you, then, pack your bags and go live there? Why don’t you go there and ask the citizens of these places how they love their living conditions? I’m not suggesting the brainwashed soldiers, but the common citizen, the ones who struggle to survive on a daily basis.

These pseudo-communists think they are saving the world against the “evil forces of the North”, they think they are changing the world because they are twitting their politically correct and pseudo-smart remarks from their smartphones while sipping champagne in their bathtubs. There’s nothing more fashionable than being socially aware and politically engaged, right?

WRONG!!! There’s nothing good in holding a flag just because it looks good. What bothers me is not the actual “fights” these people are fighting, but the hypocrisy embedded in their “struggles.” I cannot stand people who want to lecture the world, and preach how to live, when they don’t do it themselves.  Call me what you want, but I prefer people who do nothing than those who can’t even live by what they say.

Live how you will, fight what you must, but don’t forget, actions really speak more than words, especially when yours seem to be empty.

New beginnings… You can do it!

Tags

girl power, I will survive, inspiration, music, Relationships, strength

In the spirit of Easter and new beginnings, let’s not forget how important it is to know how strong we are, and how well we can handle life, relationships, and challenges when we recognize our inner strength!
I’m a true believer that music can usually say (much better) what we can’t manage to say for ourselves… In this case, I chose to illustrate how a strong and fierce woman deals with a loser ex boyfriend with an all time favorite of mine: I will survive!!! You are enough, you are strong, you will move on and learn that it’s only worth it when it is good!

I’ll put here Cake’s version!! Enjoy and sing along!!

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you’d done me wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to get along
So now you’re back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
Without the look upon your face
I should have changed my f-ing lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second
You’d be back to bother me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire
Did you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I’ll be alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I’m trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me
With somebody new
I’m not that stupid little person still in love with you
And so you thought you’d just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I’m saving all my loving
For someone who’s loving me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire
Did you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I’ll be alive
I’ve got all my live to live
I’ve got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

(lyrics by FEKARIS, DINO / PERREN, FREDERICK J.)

Stop trying to put me inside your box!

Tags

future, life choices, think outside the box, Thoughts

Rene Schute – Think outside the box

I’ve reached a moment where the phrase “think outside the box” begins to make personal sense to me…I understand, and respect, people who are content and truly happy to have their life conforming with all regular society’s expectations, fitting precisely inside the invisible society’s box. Inside the box you usually will find a job, not necessarily one that you dreamed about, but one that pays the bills; you will find a husband, a couple of kids; you find family vacations and a sense of security. Life inside the box is usually safe and predictable. I think that’s great. Truly, I do! Being happy with what you have, especially with what you think you should have, is truly a blessing! It is just not for me!!

Not everyone is capable of easily fitting inside the box…For some people, for me, the constraints of this box, which delimits what life should be, is just suffocating. For people who make “thinking outside the box” a living method, dreaming and achieving new horizons is just fuel to keep pushing the boundaries. I respect those who are happy inside the box. What I CANNOT accept is their extreme efforts to try to push me inside it with them!!! If I don’t try to decorate your box, STOP TRYING TO LOCK ME INSIDE IT WITH YOU!!

I honestly came to resent people’s “good intentions” and “hopes” for my future! It’s about time everyone realized my future is MINE to make! The mistakes, the right moves, the disappointments and the achievements. I choose to live by my dreams and to risk uncertainty for the possibility of great unimagined happiness!

This is what people who spend too much time focusing on other people’s life choices are really doing: they are actually trying to discourage others to do what they wish they could have the guts to do themselves!

My point is: stop focusing on other people’s businesses. Take care of your life, of your box, of your happiness. Focus on what life you dream for yourself and work hard to get there. It doesn’t matter in what, if any, box you will fit! Not all of us need to be inside to reach fulfillment and happiness!

There’s nothing like a hug

Tags

energy boost, Hug

Having a tough day?! Sometimes we can’t really say what’s wrong, or why we feel a little down… It’s ok. Not everything has, or should have an explanation. But no matter the reason, a big warm hug can be just the cure we need! It can be a friend, a dog (the best of friends), a teddy bear, a pillow, it doesn’t matter!! Hug because you need some energy boost, hug because you want to give some love, hug because hugging is awesome!! Sometimes it’s in the little effortless actions that we can find the greatest joy!

Não existe nada como um abraço

Você está tendo um dia difícil?! As vezes nós não sabemos dizer o que está acontecendo, ou porque estamos nos sentindo um pouco pra baixo… Não tem problema. Nem tudo tem, ou deve ter uma explicação. Mas não importa a razão, um grande e gostoso abraço pode ser exatamente a cura que precisamos! Pode ser um amigo, um cachorro (o melhor dos amigos), um urso de pelúcia, um travesseiro, não importa!! Abrace porque você precisa de um choque de energia, abrace porque você quer dar um pouco de amor, abrace porque abraçar é demais!! As vezes é nas pequenas e simples ações que podemos encontrar as maiores alegrias!

Happy International Women’s Day

Tags

girl power, Thoughts, wome's day

Happy because today being a woman is cause for celebration

Happy because we no longer stay in the shadows waiting for permission to be who we are

Happy because even though not everywhere women are free, the ones who are have the voice to defend those who need our help

Happy because we no longer take the world as it is because we are women… we make it our own because we deserve it, because we can

Happy because we have the conscience that it is not behind a great man that there is a great woman, but beside him

Happy because we have stopped making excuses and now demand our rights

Happy because we have the minds to control the world, but the heart to do it with care

Happy because we understand how smart it is to let ourselves be silly sometimes

Happy because we understand the true joy in the small things (make up sale anyone?! 😉

Happy because we can talk serious, but we love to laugh at ourselves

Happy because we understand it’s not about a war of the sexes, but about being equal and better together

Happy because we may define happiness without necessarily having to make a man part of it

Happy because if we do choose to have a man we will respect ourselves enough to choose the right one

Happy because we know we have the power to change the world and are not afraid to fight for it

For all the reasons said and those kept inside, celebrate this day with the certainty that no matter the circumstances you are never alone: there will always be a great woman waiting to lend you a hand, to give you a loving embrace, an understanding word and a nice and delicious chocolate ice cream when you need to relax!

Happy International Women’s Day today and every other day of your life!

 

Feliz Dia Internacional das Mulheres

Feliz porque ser mulher hoje é motivo para celebrar

Feliz porque nós não mais ficamos nas sombras esperando por permissão para ser quem somos

Feliz porque mesmo não sendo livres em todos os lugares, as mulheres que são têm a voz para defender aquelas que precisam de nossa ajuda

Feliz porque nós não mais aceitamos o mundo como ele é porque somos mulheres… nós o fazemos nosso porque nós merecemos, porque nós podemos

Feliz porque nós temos a consciência de que não é atrás de um grande homem que está uma grande mulher, mas ao lado dele

Feliz porque nós paramos de nos desculpar e agora exigimos nossos direitos

Feliz porque nós temos as mentes para controlar o mundo, mas o coração para fazê-lo com cuidado

Feliz porque nós entendemos como é inteligente nos deixar fazer bobagem de vez em quando

Feliz porque nós entendemos a verdadeira alegria contida nas pequenas coisas (promoção de maquiagem?!! 😉

Feliz porque nós podemos falar sério, mas adoramos rir de nós mesmas

Feliz porque nós sabemos que não é uma questão de guerra dos sexos, mas sobre sermos iguais e melhores juntos

Feliz porque nós podemos definir a felicidade sem necessariamente ter que fazer um homem parte dela

Feliz porque se nós escolhermos ter um homem nós vamos nos respeitar o bastante para escolher o certo

Feliz porque nós sabemos que temos o poder para mudar o mundo e não temos medo de lutar por isso

Por todas as razões ditas e aquelas guardadas dentro de nós, celebre este dia com a certeza de que, não importem as circunstâcias, você não está nunca sozinha: sempre vai haver uma grande mulher esperando para te estender uma mão, para te dar um abraço amoroso, uma palavra compreensiva, e um bom e delicioso sorvete de chocolate quando você precisar relaxar!

Feliz dia Internacional das Mulheres hoje e em cada outro dia de sua vida!